Capture that "Back-To-School" Feeling! (Even if you are over-worked, stressed, need a vacation, and broke!)

YES! It's that time of year again...The kids are going off to school, maybe even college...You may already feel completely overworked and scattered and stressed, trying to get the shopping, arrangements, papers ready for the title (or big) ones. Maybe you don't have kids, but you're in great need of a little mental break, treat, or just something fun to look forward to...If either (or both!) cases are you, then please take this opprtunity, while taking some time out to start doing your Un-Plan for Fall,  to think about and tune into that "Back-to-Feeling" from when you were young (sigh!):

• Get very comfortable, in a safe and relaxing space.

• Close your eyes...Calm and quiet your mind, as best you can...

• Try and remember the smells and feelings of that time...

• What comes up for you? Dread? Excitement? Thrilling-ness? Anxiety? It's important to note this...

• If the feeling leans more toward the negative, please don't get lost in this story. Breathe deeply, veer away from it, and try to hone in on any feelings that you can recall that were full of some kind of positive anticipation about this time of year...(Some of us may have to go quite far back! ;)

• Any positive memories you can bring up? What made them so great? Was it the people around you at the time? Was it what you were looking forward to? Perhaps, it was just the fact you had a lovely new outfit that your mom or dad or grandparent had let you pick out on your own...? Whatever it was (and perhaps there are more than one memory) hold it close to you in your heart: Does it bring up a feeling of longing? Desire? Fondness?

• If it does, you hit a sort of paydirt! That is gold! Because, even if the people around you are, well, no longer around, you can give yourself a dose of what you need to get that delicious Back-to-School feeling...back!

• If you miss having specific family around, maybe start a ritual of calling your cousins, parents, aunts, grandparents (whoever you'd like) once a week during the Fall. Are they mostly all nightmares? ;) Then get on Facebook, and hit up some old pals from grade school or high school. YOU have changed, but an essential core of you is still quite the same, believe me. Chances are, you can tap right back into that while chatting or corresponding with someone who knew you, way back when...:)

• If it's the "new-ness" of everything that you really crave, that fun feeling of having new clothing, sneakers, shoes, and school supplies, then find a way that is within your budget to purchase or procure a "set" of something or an outfit that is completely new. This can be office supplies from the Dollar Store, or a new outfit from Poshmark (my ultimate and fave place to both new and slightly used clothing, shoes and accessories-just use my code SHOPFRAN to get $5 off your first purchase!) Maybe you're more into design, and would love to get something new for your home?

Either way, maybe Fall is the time of year to make a big deal out of YOU! 

Whether you are an MBA, or didn't have the opportunity to graduate high school- no matter at all. Fall is a GREAT time to take some time for yourself, connect with old friends and loved ones, and give yourself, or your home, a little gift. 

YOU DESERVE IT. xo

How to Have a Great Summer (Even if You Are Broke!)

I think one of the very best ways to have a really good summer when you are a bit short on funds is to really PLAN. Yes! Planning, planning, planning is key! I know. I can almost taste the collective sigh in the room, practically. You are feeling overwhelmed. You have work challenges, money worries, family priorities...

I totally get it, believe me...

But let's try and break this down a moment, shall we, with a few fun, fast and EASY ways to make your summer absolutely delicious, memorable (in a good way) and shining bright:

If You Are Single (And without kids)

• Ask yourself: What the hell do I really want to do this summer? Relax? Connect with an old friend or two? Have a great adventure? Read a lot? Luxuriate somewhere else? Re-do my outdoor space? (whether that be a yard, patio or small balcony area?)
• Identify the above, but, really do it. What do you need? 
• After you have identified this, you need to figure out what your actual time frame and availability is, and what your actual budget is: Can you afford to purchase that plane ticket to see your best friend in Austin for a long weekend? (Any miles you can use?) Or, if you need a little luxury, will a staycation overnight at a nice hotel and a massage and room service do the trick? Can you afford to make some tweaks to your patio, balcony or yard? Really think about this, but don't take too long to do it, okay? ;)
• If you want to go away-away-call that friend(s), and BOOK THAT TICKET. Just Do it! You have a free place to stay (I'm hoping) and your friend will know where to go and what to do once you arrive in their city. BOOK IT. NOW!
• Same as above, but with your staycation. Call the hotel. Secure the room. Book that massage. Look forward to it-DONE!
• You can also take a fun road trip to visit that friend(s), and save the cash for more important things (like a boozy brunch, or two!)

If Funds Are Really Low:

• Take a day trip/cruise Chinatown or downtown to some cool spot you have never been to in your city.
• PLAN a Summer Party or Picnic: If your place is too small, arrange for everyone to meet at a free neighborhood jazz fest or picnic spot. Bring a frisbee, and invite everyone to bring something special. If the party's at your place, this is a great time to spruce up for summer guests! 
• On the above note, invite a pal or two to come and visit YOU for the weekend, with the caveat that money is a little tight, but agreeing to show them a good time! (You may even get wined and dined a little!)
• Splurge on seeing a band or artist you love. There is NOTHING quite like a brilliant summer concert, and boy, does it bring back all the adolescent feels. Try this in lieu of the picnic with friends, and get everyone with the same musical taste on-board with you. OR- go to one of those shows that WILL bring it all back! Performers like Pat Benatar tour ALL the time! Take advantage of your nostalgia, and live it up this summer!
• Build up your library, and READ! Go over your bookshelves, and make a list of what you really want in there. Make it a fun job to hunt down this summer. Sleuth out your fave, old used bookstore, or-if funds are super-duper tight-get a library card. (You can even download FREE digital titles to your Kindle!)
• Try a monthly subscription to Filmstruck, and do the same as above, but with great films you have always wanted to see, but have not quite made the time to do so. Host your own mini- film festival with friends. You can provide the popcorn and snacks, and have them bring the booze or bevies. Or- do this solo, on a quiet weekend. 
• Give yourself a deadline to finish something-anything, by August 31st. That short story, those last 5 lbs, painting that nightstand you got at The Salvation Army last summer...You get the picture. Nothing huge. Just something...fun that will give you a nice, little jolt of accomplishment and pride. 

If You Have Kids:

• Hopefully, you have been planning with your partner or ex- how to handle the schedule, so it hasn't crept right up on you. If you have some alone time without your kids (they are at camp, with family or at your ex's) then see above. If not, figure out the budget you'd like to spend on outings or a trip. Next...Schedule a little family meeting. 
• At the Family Meeting: Ask: What does everyone feel like doing? Listen. Then tell them what is do-able, within the context of your family's budget. 
• With your keen ear, determine what the family is leaning toward: An amusement park? Beach vacation? Camping? What, what, what? Ask questions. Be impartial. Try not to allow any bickering at the table.
• Then, when a few ideas have made themselves clear:
• Offer three options. Let them debate and go crazy over them. Keep listening. Who really wants to do what? Can some things actually be combined? (Camping with a Six Flags nearby?)
• When you have a decent, agreed-upon, affordable verdict-tell everyone, in no uncertain terms, that you are booking this thing, and it cannot be changed. 
• Book that thing/things. Just do it! NOW! ;) 
• Have the kids, if they are old enough, go through their things and tell you if they need any new clothes or supplies for the trip. Go get those things, or borrow them from friends and neighbors. 
• Negotiate some chores, while you are at it. Why not? Have them hit the garage, since you are being such a great parent, and taking them on vacation.
   

If Funds are Super Low:

• Look online for any free concerts or outdoor movies for kids. RSVP online, or make plans to attend. Take the kids to stock up on candy at Target or CVS, or wherever you get your fun snacks.  
• Go to the movies during the day-or get everyone a MoviePass!  For $9.95 per person, you can see one movie EVERY day! It's TRUE! I have it, and use it religiously. (So, for twenty bucks a month, you and your kid are SET for summer movie time!)
• Go to a park or out to lunch in an entirely different neighborhood. Drive into the country, or up the coast one weekend, just for the day. Poke around in the local galleries and little hometown museums. Little kids love to learn about their state, and can brag about it when they get back to school. It's a fun way to do something intellectual and relaxing, all at the very same time. 
• Go to a few, great museums in one weekend. BofA has Museums on Us the first weekend of each month, and many large museums have "free" afternoons. (Besides, most kids 17-and-under are allowed free admission! Score.) Give them a few bucks to buy postcards in the Museum Gift Shop, to remember their favorite paintings. BONUS: Most museums also have free family classes and concerts-on-the-lawn during the summer. You can stay all afternoon, and bring a lunch in a sack or relax on a blanket. 
• Maybe this is something to do for next summer-but, often, many sleep-away camps offer free or reduced fee scholarship programs. Do not be scared to apply for these. The other kids will truly never know, and camp is a life-changing experience for little ones. Plus, you will get a much-deserved break! 
• Become the "magnet" house: Stock the fridge and pantry with inexpensive snacks and lemonade, or bake the snacks, even better! Tell the kids they can have friends over, within a limit. Especially if you work, and have older kids or teens home during the day, at least you will know where they are, and that they are safe. You can also give them a little allowance for doing chores, so they have some summer spending money, if you can swing it. 
• Plan some hikes, trips to the beach or lake, and make them fun. Bring exciting snacks and lunches-even if it's the normally verboten fast food! Pack everything up nicely for them. Play little word games in the car. These are the experiences summer memories are truly made of! 

So you see? Your summer does not have to suck! Au contraire! Great summer memories are made when you let loose, relax, and hang out with the people you love most (or at least, like a lot!) If you really think about what you recall from your summers as a child, any nice memories probably didn't revolve around reliving the quality of hotel you were staying, what label you were wearing, or how expensive or fancy the meal or restaurant. Lighten up! Identify what you really want and need, and have fun. You deserve it, believe me. 

That is what summer is all about, baby...xo

Why Am I Still Broke?... (and other silly beliefs)

Why are you still broke? 

Is it the job? Is it bearing the great responsibility of your family's needs? Is it the fact that everyone is coming first, maybe-their needs, desires, and wants pushing past your own, to the point that you do not even know what you really want?

I often find myself in this place: Frustrated, stuck and unable to make a positive change that will bring me more prosperity. 

But what lies beneath all of this? 

Recently, I have come to think that it is our embedded, almost invisible belief system. The beliefs that we walk around with, that whisper to us constantly, that we had absolutely no clue were ever-present, running at a very low frequency at the back of our brains, and, essentially and eventually, running our very lives. Sometimes the hum of these beliefs turns into a roar, as when you never allow yourself new experiences because they are "too  expensive" and "how could I ever afford that?!!?"

Would you want to hang out with someone who is constantly complaining, sighing, feeling less than, feeling undeserving? Neither does the Universe, believe me.

Have you ever witnessed one of those conversations with someone trying to explain a new project or what they are focusing on in an upbeat way, and the other person keeps saying "But, but... but!" ? It's truly almost comical. Usually, the upbeat person just shrugs, smiles and eventually and politely scoots away from the "but-ing" person as fast as they can. 

The Universe is the same way!

If you feel you don't deserve something (Belief) the Universe will simply shrug, smile and move on, until you are ready to have a more fun, fulfilled conversation with it.

Take some time today, go on a little walk, if you can, and think about what you really would like to have in your life, in material, more "prosperous" way:

 $5k more a month? A new job? A fun, summer  wardrobe? That trip to Cabo? What isit? Then, go deeper...

Listen, as you hear that hum start. Low at first...What is it really saying to you? Translate it, and listen closely! Are you imagining that someone who is financially and materially self-fulfilled is always going to be an asshole deep down? Or afraid you wouldn't be able to hang with people like that, if you get to that "level?" What is this ever-present hum trying to tell you? Tease it out, bit by bit, hum by hum...Just-let it unspool. 

Then, on your walk- go back in time a little bit: When did these beliefs really start? Is there a way to identify them? Usually it's a story, or a piece of an old memory, actually, that sticks out. And maybe it's so silly and small, you couldn't possibly think it has any weight or power. Think again!

There is a reason these little memories, seemingly so tucked away and normally hidden, are your absolute go-tos when that hum starts, and you start trying to decipher them...Something lodged within there that you deeply believed, somehow. And still do, especially if you are reading this far, believe me! 

Just remember that this is just a beginning.

But if you really focus and listen, you will be surprised to learn that what you really thought was just an everyday thought has had tremendous power over your daily dealings. (And not simply in your financial realm.) 

When you have chosen a few choice "stories," your work now is in how you are going to unravel and deprogram them. You need to supply a new narrative, one that honors the old thoughts as you would an old lover...Then, let them go, as you make way for bright, shiny new ones. 

It could go something like this:

"Yes, my friends may have been snarky and jealous when they saw my first day of school outfit when I was 7, and made fun of me."

Whoa! That's a big one. This memory = the Belief: "Who the hell did I think I was, to feel so good in my new clothes? I must not be worthy of them." etc.

Or, you overheard your parents fighting intensely about money, maybe even on a daily basis. This needs some huge unraveling.

This memory = the Belief: "Life is a struggle, because me and my siblings were a terrible burden. It's going to be hard for me to survive and support myself, too!"

You have to remember something:  Your parents made their own choices.You were not the burden. Their choices were their burden to carry.  You were the child. A gift, for God's sake. And sure, maybe you have compassion for your parents, eventually. But not before you get as angry at hell at them, first, if you feel like it!  Kids should be allowed to be kids. I don't care where someone grows up, or what circumstances they are in. To have a child is a choice. If you screw it up, and can't afford to have the lifestyle you want to give your child, it's all on you. They had no right at all to make it your and  or your siblings' problem. I do not care what type of childhood they had. The awful mother or father they were cursed with. Their painful, poverty-stricken childhood, or terrible divorce. 

It does not matter. Th decision to have a family was all on them. 

Are you bristling right now? That's because the truth can often be very painful, and difficult to bear. Even for grown-up "children," who are probably still suffering themselves.

 Here is where  the compassion comes in: Your parents, grandparents or caretakers are only human. They were only doing their best (even if their best sucked.) But please, be and feel angry, if it feels right and safe to do so. Be sad, if you need to. Write all of this down, if that's helpful. All of these feelings are perfectly allowed. 

Now do the above with every belief you've ever had, as they come up, pertaining to wealth, prosperity, and money. Mine are intense, I assure you. Just go through and let go of those teachers, classmates, old friends, lovers, parents, relatives. Let them go into the ether where they belong-as they hum right through and OUT THE DOOR of your belief system. Let them go! 

Then, replace these old ones with some shiny, new beliefs, like the ones below:

(Again, this are not affirmations. Just beliefs to start thinking about, and replacing when that same old song sounds again in your brain.)

• I was only a kid. I didn't have any control over my life or my parents' lives.
• Money doesn't equal happiness. But I still deserve to have as much of it as I want!
• I need and want certain things in my life to bring me joy-things money can buy- and that's okay.
• Struggling financially does not make me more interesting, more creative, or freer. 
• I can never have enough money. The supply out there is limitless.
• I deserve to have a teeming, full bank account. 

Lastly, if you have really identified some core beliefs you have been carrying about your own wealth and prosperity, now would be a great time to work with a good therapist.

Contact us for some great recs. It can change your life (and hopefully, your bank balance!) 

Have a great week...xo

PS- If you are REALLY in need of a Universal Financial Reboot, try this little wonder. I use it every time I am freaking about my finances, and therapist Lesli Johnson says that The Art of Money is "life-changing" (!)