When you wish others were PURRR..FECT (or at least, not so annoying)

This hits all of us...You can be having a great day, had a pretty great weekend, even, and then Monday comes, and you realize things are not as perfect and delightful as you would like to be in your life. Or maybe you Weekend-Warriored your way out of thinking about how very far from ideal your life really is right now...

Whatever your life situation is, we all almost universally suffer from always wanting things to be better. 

But what if you suffer from, well, wanting things to be a CERTAIN WAY, all the time? Maybe it's not a type-A, Jackie Kennedy-kind of perfection, but you just wish your husband or wife or brother or mother or father or family would act a certain way, achieve certain things, or just give your more space. 

In life, as it home, we often to create the spaces we want on our own. At home, we may read shelter mags, consult Apartment Therapy obsessively (like us!) or even be able to hire a decorator. You can do the same in life.

If you are making others suffer, and yourself, with your own expectations, for God's sake, try to go and talk to someone. Yes, we definitely espouse the full benefits of therapy here at House & Mind. If that is out of the question, for whatever reason, think about your home for a moment. Think of what you have created in your environment, whatever it may be, grand or small, to make yourself feel more at home. Then, take a small step and see how you can shift focus from the behavior of others, to that of yourself. 

What can YOU change? What can you adjust to make yourself accountable, and become less reliant on that person to change-that person(s!) you are forever bitching about? And really, it could be time to ask yourself some very tough questions: Do you need to ditch that whining friend, once and for all? Could you and your spouse really benefit from couples therapy, perhaps? Tough, tough, tough, I get it. Especially if you are care-taking an elderly relative who is not fun to be around, or are completely overwhelmed with family and financial obligations. Taking responsibility really does suck when we have been living so fully in knowing something to be true. I get that. And you may be, and probably are, totally valid in your assessments.

But truly?

No one can live up to the standards that only live in your own head.

No one. Even if those standards are totally valid. 

There is a lot in our interactions with others which you can change. YOU can change them. The more you realize this fact, the closer you may also realize that you have been using these disappointments as, at bottom, an excuse to simply be sad. Maybe yes, maybe no.

But if that's the case, maybe it's the to make some changes. No shame in that at all. 

And also remember how you have made your home reflect yourself, in whatever you have/are doing so. Dude, you can do this with your life. 

It's true. 

This month, we will be diving into some specific tools regarding how to manage our own expectations, and dealing with those annoying others who just simply refuse to change, dammit! And I promise you, miracles happen. When you change behavior, often, these people stop messing you. It's a proven fact, I swear. Their power diminishes. Their hold over you begins to drop and fade...

(We are also going to be adding "Tuesday Tips" for more practical and fun home advice, so look out for those, too...:) 

Have a good week!

Welcome to House & Mind!

This is my first post on this site, and I am so excited to share my thoughts and we can start changing our lives by starting with BOTH our inner and outer "houses." Whether you live in a Bel-Air Mansion, an East Village studio, a cabin in the woods of South Carolina, or a condo in Lincoln, Nebraska-we all have blocks in the way we create (or don't create) the space we live in. This goes way beyond the objects that bring joy or not-it boils down to your own way of creating the life you want to live (or a different one than the one you are leading right now!) 

These seem like huge issues for a home organizing and decor site-and they are. But they don't have to be! This week, I want to dive into what I call the "Ideal Sitch," the situation you have always imagined would work if ONLY you got this and that clean/straightened/organized in your home.  

What will you do once that garage is tackled? Or your monster coat closet? Or kitchen cabinets? 

Write that novel? Get a band-new job? Ask for a raise? Get a divorce? Find true love? It's amazing how we can put off what we feel will bring us the most fulfillment in life. 

It was also amazing to see how much I have personally procrastinated with my own creative goals vis-a-vis worrying about not simply cleaning up first, but little things, such as cleaning out a closet, that I turned into (rather unnecessary) major organizing jobs! And of course, there is incredible truth that  an uncluttered desk can mean an uncluttered mind. But it can also be paralyzing for some to have everything in pin-perfect order...

How to find balance?

House & Mind wants to help you to figure out YOUR style of keeping house.  Apart from what society thinks, what the collective ego demands, or what your mother tells you. And keeping your head clear, too. So often, our mess outside is due to what's going on internally. 

To that end, we will ONLY be using photos of our own apartments and homes, and those of our friends, the people in our life and willing clients we are working with to bring their personal and domestic dreams alive, as well as some great, fun vintage photos I personally find incredibly fun and inspiring. 

I'm so happy you are here...So...let's dive into this mess, together! 

Each week will be a combination of discussing internal and external "housekeeping" challenges, problems, tips and overall life and creative enhancement.  If this resonates with you, please join us on our little adventure!

So, what is Your Ideal Sitch? In life? At home and at work? Give it a thought. We will soon be talking with Mick Kubiak, writer and family and individual therapist, on how this image impacts everything house and mind...