Are You Living A Values-Driven Life? Let's Discuss.

I suppose I never understood what it really meant to have my values correspond with my actions until I started becoming politically active. In that arena, I realized, I could meet and work with people from varied walks of life, ethnicities and social strata-all while sharing the very same goal: To get this one guy into political office! 

But, beneath that goal lay a foundation of reasons why we were all spending so many countless hours and (very often!) thankless weekends and weekday nights doing this sort of volunteer work-because we all gave an incredible sh*t about what we thought would make the country into a much better place. Our reasons were intrinsically different, but broadly the same.  

These "reasons" resulted in our collective values banding together and forming a great force, which resulted in the core phenomenon that became the very grass-roots and highly effective movement known as the Obama for America campaign. (Now called "Organizing for America")

And the important thing I have come to realize, often times in a very hard way, is that you can run your life as a political campaign, in a sense! You can collect and bring together like-minded people who believe in the same things as you do, yet who also challenge and help execute and create the how, what, when and why you do them. You can fill your life with the activities that will push forward your "Ultimate Agenda." (more on the Ultimate Agenda next week) and you can also inspire others to work for your "cause."

In effect, your values and life goals can merge into a working thing of beauty. 

You just have to identify what those goals are, and what values rest beneath them. 

If you are very goal-driven, but feel inauthentic, stuck and/or unhappy, perhaps your values are not lining up, or aligning, properly. If you have developed values upon values within your mind and thoughts, but your reality, your work and daily existence and day-to-day life, are not appropriately expressing them well (or at all), it is perhaps time to get off Facebook and Instagram and put your walk into your talk!

What are values?

They are the things you truly care about. They go gut-wide, from “family,” “friendship,” and “doing honest work,” to smaller yet intrinsic personal and soulful concepts- such as when you insist on being true to your word, really showing up for your friends and family, and understanding and breaking down what “good work” really means to you. 

I think it’s a HUGE discussion to have with yourself: Right now, at this very moment, ask yourself: What are my genuine values? And how may I somehow start putting them into action, much more effectively, and in my daily life?  

It matters now, so much more than ever…xo

Birds of a Feather: On Flying with Your Flock

Everyone from the ever-hustling and magnetic Tony Robbins to the most zenned out of Buddhists will almost universally agree: You are who you hang out with. But what if this, well, admonition, if you want to be honest, wasn't entirely true? What if the whole of your experience as a person on this earth does not solely have to rely on what you have accomplished, or how much you have "succeeded?" How can you keep the people in your life balanced, when you don't want to hang out all the time, but they still make up who and what you are as a person? The answer is simple: Boundaries. Made to be reinvented and re-implemented in an ever-changing way. 

I know. If you are someone who feints at the thought of hurting anyone's feelings, I feel ya, believe me!  Especially if that someone has been quite close to you, or has been a huge, integral part of your life. Birds of a feather do flock together, but they also pair off, fly in different squadrons, even go solo for a little while. It's important to recognize what you want in your life via your friendships, how much you can or want to give, and what you need. And to respect the very same in others. 

It is essential to find the friends and collaborators who will feed your soul, partner on future projects and have like-minded career goals and life values. But- what about those who have served a purpose in your life? Is it important to "cut them out?" I don't think so. Unless someone is sucking the true life out of you, consider this: 

What if the tapestry of your relationships can form a quilt of a different stripe, if you look it at that way? If you can try to balance personal and emotional  boundaries within your flock of friends, and know who to limit your time with, reserve more space in your life for, and be aware of which old pal  is always down for a drink or coffee or tea when times are tough- might that also work for you? Your friendships can weave a thick, warm tapestry that make up the richness and memories of your life!  Good and bad, these friends have been there for you-in one way, or the other. Respect this tapestry, and honor your own needs and boundaries, and watch as you all fly, up and away, together. xo